Now, stop right here. This is the first problem. I say feelings, because that is all they are. They are feelings; they are emotions – I simply CANNOT trust them.
Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
Even my heart tricks me! I have to remind myself that I can't let my emotions and feelings have power over me. So, back to the worrying..
I have always thought of myself as an extremely joyful person. I wake up each day excited about life and thankful for all God has given me to accomplish that day. I love… living! Last week I had a completely crazy and busy schedule, which is great. I love getting things done; I love marking things off my planner – it drives me! However, about midweek, I found myself feeling extremely overwhelmed about…well, life in general. I found myself worrying about… EVERYTHING!
I worried about a class I was in. I worried about if I would get all my samples counted at the lab. I worried about my future mate, wherever he may be. I worried about the piece of chocolate I ate and how it'd affect my fitness goals. I worried about my family and my friends. I guess in general, I worried about the future.
On Thursday morning, I had about a million things to do. I had a party to help plan, lots of baking to do, oral presentations to listen to from my students on something I could barely remember doing years ago in the lab, and the list goes on. Now, everyone is busy. I am no more busy than anyone else. The point here is that it was going to be a long day. The previous night I realized I’d gone to bed in my earrings. I woke in the middle of the night to take them out and put them on the floor. Well, OF COURSE, I forgot about them. As I cleaned my room the following morning, I noticed one was gone… I mean gone. Absolutely no where in site. About 45 minutes later, I had surveyed my whole room. I had accepted the earring was a goner. This is silly, but I loved those studs. They were Tory Burch studs my mom had gotten me for Christmas, and the fact one had just vanished drove my crazy. They weren't extravagant or too expensive, but I wore them daily and they had meaning!
Well, I didn’t have time for earrings that day. So, I went about the rest of my week. Saturday came and I was completely exhausted from the week before. Despite not feeling 100% and feeling extremely discouraged, I decided to run that day. Now, keep in mind this is Saturday. After completing my run that day, I was ready to go home and crash, but I knew I had to stretch first. As I went to the stretching mat at the Rush and got into Indian style seating, I looked down at my shoe and there it was.
Stuck in my tennis shoe was my missing stud! First of all…RANDOM. The likelihood that a stud would happen to be in just the right position to get stuck in a tennis shoe is low. The likelihood that it would STAY in my shoe for three days is even lower. Keep in mind that between Thursday and Saturday I had run about 15 miles total and done three Insanity workouts with my mom. I find it crazy to me that it had stuck there right in my shoe, despite all the travel.
I know that this sounds like such a small thing, but for me it was HUGE. It was such a good reminder that we serve a God who cares even about the little things in our lives. It was a little reminder that God is always there, and He's got it all under control. If I serve a God who cares even about the little things in my life, then SURELY I serve a God who cares about the big things in life too.
Luke 12:6-7 has some good stuff to say about this.
"Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."
It goes on to say (v. 22-28), “Then He said to His disciples, "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. 23Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. 24Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? 25And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 26If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest? 27Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?”
It isn't easy - I wish I weren't a worrier, but I am. It requires me to surrender everything to Christ and quit worrying about what I can and cannot control. God has got it - Let us lay down our fears, our anxieties, our worries, our apprehensions, and everything else and just trust Him today!
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