A New Heart

I just love how God speaks to us through other people. I literally hear God speaking to me through people every day and through every interaction, but there are moments that REALLY wake me up.

This past week, I took a part time job at one of my favorite boutique’s in Knoxville. Being in graduate school and with my research right now, I have a lot of extra time on my hands. I thought it would be nice to use some of the gifts God has given me outside of a lab coat ! I am so excited for the opportunity!

When I went to speak with the owners about a potential job, they asked me a little about myself, which typically leads into a good amount of conversation because my job is kind of unique. I told them how I worked with radioisotopes for the treatment of bone cancer out at the lab. This led to details of my job, and the fact I had to wear a suit because if I didn’t, I could possibly risk the chance of becoming contaminated. The next question that followed was something that I hear a lot, but it had never resonated in such a way before.

“So, how do you work with an isotope if you can’t see it? How do you know it's there?”

I sat there for a second, kind of blown away, thinking about how to answer this question. Well, how DID I know? That is a good question. Then, suddenly, I had another one of those moments that I talked about before. A moment where something just clicks and the lights turn on. I thought for a moment about the parallel between my job and my Faith. I work with isotopes that I have never seen. I run solutions through columns that I know contain a material that is radioactive. I know this because I can detect it with a beta or alpha detector, but I can’t actually see it. I know that the radioactive material in the solutions I work with everyday are good things – things that are being used to try and treat various types of bone cancer. I see the tools and the solutions I work with everyday, but the REAL work goes on in the unseen of the isotope (the emission of particles, decay, etc.) << Weird, nerdy, science talk :)

It kind of blows my mind how similar this is to what I believe. I believe in a God that I can’t see, yet all at the same time I can "detect" Him - I know He is there. I can’t physically touch Him, but He exists. Just like the isotopes we work with that eventually get shipped to hospitals to help people, God does that too… but on a WHOLE different level! I can't see Him, but I must trust He is present... just like I must trust the scientists above me who tell me that a particular solution contains a set amount of radioactivity. People often ask how I can believe in something I can’t see, but I need no proof. All I have to do it look at what He has done in my life and how He has changed my heart.

With a birthday coming up, it causes you to do a whole lot of reflection. I continue to be blown away when I think about who I am today as opposed to who I was a year ago. This is in no way written to toot my own horn, because I can’t take credit for any of it. I tried and tried to “fix” myself for so long, yet always failed. When we invite Christ into our lives to do that job, He takes over! The best part is He completely gives us a new heart – Sometimes I sit back and examine who I am today, even writing this, and I wonder, “Who is this girl?” Because the girl I knew for 22 years lived in darkness. However, God is gracious and He HAS changed me.. in a way I never knew would even be possible.


I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;
 I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be
careful to keep my laws. Ezekiel 36:26-27

I spent most of my time through college the few weeks before my birthday counting down – counting down to a DAY where I could have full attention, all eyes on me, consumed with presents, and most likely followed by a night I wouldn’t remember. I view this birthday as something different – I look forward to getting to enjoy another year of being alive, going into work, and seeing how and where God uses me. I am so incredibly thankful for a God that puts in us a new heart! It is the greatest thing in the world! I want to encourage you today to ask God for that – He is a provider. All He asks is that we must confess Jesus as Lord, turn from our sins, and accept Him to take control of our lives. I can promise you it will be the best thing to ever happen to you! 1 Peter 1:8 is in one sentence how I would describe my entire life. Jesus can do the same thing for you that He did for me - all you have to do is ask.

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy." 1 Peter 1:8

Happy birthday dad!

Happy Birthday to my dad! I wish there was some way I could express just how important my father is to me, but words can’t even explain it in one blog post. My dad has been the single most influential person in my life.

As I think about my childhood and growing up, and about the kind of man my dad is, I think about all the character traits he holds and what makes him such a great man. My dad is the strongest man I know, both physically and emotionally. I have watched my dad battle a disease that doctors said was incurable without ever showing ANY sign of weakness. My dad has never complained, not even once. I have watched him serve his country in Iraq, and I have watched him provide for his family every day of his life. To be honest, I see my dad as invincible (You have NO idea how hard this makes it to date) J To me, there is little that my dad can’t do.

My dad is not perfect, but the BEST thing about him is the parallel I see between him (my earthly father) and my Spiritual Father (Christ). My father is a provider and a protector. He is the only man in my entire life that I have loved so deeply yet feared at the same time. This is the same attitude we, as Christians, are called to have towards Christ. I see the same image as Christ portayed as the lion and lamb in my dad as well.

Now, for those of you that know my dad, this sounds funny. To most people, this is who my dad is:

This is the lion. My dad is fearless and does his job well. My dad is Special forces, and when he wasn't serving his country as a Lt. Col. in the U.S. Army, he spent most of his time as "country manager of Nigeria", helping to rebuild several African countries' governments and military. I know it must be a hard job , especially leaving your family, but he does it because it is where he is called to be. For me, I see this man most of the time. He is a disciplinary, and growing up I knew the rules, and I followed them. Why? Because I feared my father - I knew the consequences that would come if I didn't obey him.

However, one of my favorite things I get to see so often is the lamb. I see a man who passionately loves the Lord and his family; A man that knows apart from Christ, he is nothing. I see a man that will scold me for doing wrong, and yet lovingly comfort me in times of my pain and shame. Never once in my life have I "gone too far", nor does he EVER bring up any of my past mistakes. This is what I love most about my dad.

I know what the Bible tells me about Christ. I know that Christ loves us deeply and that there are consequences to sin. I know the Bible also tells me that we are forgiven once we are children of Christ Jesus, and that we can likewise never go too far. How extremely blessed I am, though, to have an earthly father who gives me an idea of what this looks this. Again, my dad is human. The best part of all this is that our Heavenly Father is perfect. My dad can only give me so much love and support. My Heavenly Father can (and will) provide this in abundance. I know how much I love being loved on and hugged by my dad. How much greater will it be to be hugged on and loved by our Savior one day!