God and my journey to satisfy the soul

It is obvious that we were intended for fulfillment. Take a look around – It’s obvious in our every thought and action throughout the day. We’re all chasing something, looking for something to live for, looking for something to be recognized for.

My journey as a Christian began at 12 years old. 12 years old is young, and being raised in a good home, I wasn’t really ever faced with any pressing temptations. I believed in Jesus, but I wasn’t really following Him – and I definitely know there is a difference.

My journey through high school and college consisted of a constant need for fulfillment – I wanted to be known for something. In high school, I wanted to be the good one. I wanted to be recognized for being upright, pure, and unblemished. But, it was never about Christ – it was always about myself. I wanted to make sure that I was the one that had it all together.

College was a different story. Because my foundation was not firm, I searched for fulfillment in a lot. Life wasn’t really about having this “good” front anymore. I looked for satisfaction in every aspect of my life. I wanted to be smartest one, and prove my intellect. I wanted to be the most beautiful one, the most desirable. I wanted to have the most expensive clothes, be the most fit, have the best this, the best that. I had to drive the luxury car and I was on a constant craving for attention. However, it was never enough for me. With every new purchase, each would eventually get old,  end up pushed in the back of my closet. The empty relationships were fun at first, but eventually they got old too. I would constantly find with each purchase, mistake or another night out on the town, I would wake up feeling just as empty as before. For me, this is what fulfillment looked like. 

But, think about it. Don’t we all have these longings? When we’re sad, we turn to things to fill us up, right? Whether it is excessive exercise, chocolate, another person, alcohol, addictions, we all look for something to satisfy the soul – to take away the pain. We’re all looking for something. Whether it be reassurance, a compliment, a relationship, we all just want to be filled. And the great thing is we were meant to be filled! We were created to need something!

I can confidently tell you that there is only ONE way to truly satisfy the soul’s longings. Am I saying that the things that I mentioned above are not good things? Absolutely not! I think education is good, as well as fitness, clothes, relationships, etc. But, I do know that there is only one thing that will give you that fulfillment you are looking for, and that is Jesus Christ.

“But, HOW DO YOU KNOW?” Trust me, I understand the frustration sometimes. I know that looking to something that you cannot see for that fulfillment can be difficult to grasp. However, all I have to do is look at the change that has taken place in my heart to know how REAL it really is. All I have to tell you is the peace and the joy and the satisfaction that comes from knowing Him.  Does this mean I never look at nice cars and clothes and things and not want that? Does this mean I don’t still have that urge for a relationship, marriage, and family? Heck no! BUT, it is knowing that in those things I will never find true and complete fulfillment. Those things will never provide to me my absolute satisfaction. There is only one thing in the world that can provide that, and that is Jesus Christ. If you haven’t made the step to let Him fill you up, I encourage you to take it today!

In Him, there is peace. There is no longer the need to continue to strive and accumulate, and gather, and try so hard, striving for things that will only continue to disappoint. And OH how tiring it gets! I know how tiring it is to constantly need to have more and more, or try harder and harder. The good news: Jesus is the only thing in my life that I have found that doesn’t grow old to me. He's the only thing that won't grow old after a week or two - He is constantly new and exciting and fulfilling and satisfying! Let Him be that for you too!  

Rest assured today!

Praise the Lord, my soul; 
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 
 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
 who forgives all your sins 
    and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion, 
 who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

 The Lord works righteousness 
    and justice for all the oppressed.

 He made known his ways to Moses,
    his deeds to the people of Israel:
 The Lord is compassionate and gracious, 
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever; 
 he does not treat us as our sins deserve 
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him; 
 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

 As a father has compassion on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
 for he knows how we are formed, 
    he remembers that we are dust. 
 The life of mortals is like grass, 
    they flourish like a flower of the field;
 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
    and its place remembers it no more.
 But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children —
 with those who keep his covenant 
    and remember to obey his precepts.

 The Lord has established his throne in heaven,
    and his kingdom rules over all.

 Praise the Lord, you his angels, 
    you mighty ones who do his bidding, 
    who obey his word.
 Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts, 
    you his servants who do his will.
 Praise the Lord, all his works 
    everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul.

Psalm 103

that is all! :)

This is no ordinary battle

I must admit that sometimes I get caught up in la la land.   Sometimes I get so caught up in the idea of this perfect life, filled with constant laughter, white picket fences, butterflies, chocolates, etc. that I forget that this is a battle, and that we must ALWAYS fight.

I know that the devil is real, but sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget that he really exists purely “to steal and kill and destroy” John 10:10

I don’t remind myself nearly enough of Scripture that I must “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

I made the mistake a couple nights ago of going down memory lane in my head. I had a thought – I had a moment of feeling unworthy. I gave the enemy a foothold. Mistake #1: Rather than taking every thought captive as 2 Corinthians 10: 3-5 commands us to do, I started to dwell. I’m talking really dwell. I’m talking the painful and terrifying thoughts of fear, shame, doubt, panic – the kind of thoughts that shake your very foundation – the type that stop you in your tracks. 

Have you ever taken that trip? Where you feel completely stripped of all assurance? Where you just want to hide? To me, it’s possibly one of the most terrifying things that can happen to you. I think this is because it is an attack on the mind. I’ve tried to control a lot of things in my life (and always fail), but the mind is one I have not yet mastered (and never will) – and I KNOW there is an absolute reason for this. Through these attacks, however, I learned several truths that I’m hoping will help you too when these times come.

1. Amidst wrestling with such hard things, it makes me realize my absolute and complete desperation for Jesus. In moments like these, I am so overcome by fearful thoughts of being far from God, that nothing else in this world matters. Things that I held of importance last week dissipate. “Take it all away God. Take everything in this world away from me because you are ALL that I need to make it.” I want to run so far from my sin that the devil has no stronghold on me. In these moments, I realize that the Holy Spirit is the only thing in the universe that will make things OK.

2. The enemy and his lies are powerless. Just writing that here now gives me hope. If you are in Christ Jesus, you are sealed by the Blood of the Lamb. Nothing can snatch you from His hand, even when the future seems bleak. Romans 8:38 comes to mind - Learn it, recite it, know it backwards and forwards. Nothing can steal you from the King. 

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.

3. Scripture is our tool. It is what God gives us to fight back. The good news is we have already won being in Christ, but I have to be active. I can’t just sit in my bedroom and expect everything to get better. I have to refute every lie with who I know Jesus is, and who I am in Him. I can’t tell you how many times today I’ve had to repeat Ephesians 6. I am unshakable because "I am strong in the Lord and in the Power of His might". 

4. God never lets His children go. I must remind myself of things like Jeremiah 29:11, Psalms 16:11, Romans 15:13. Satan is a liar - It is what he does. Telling you that you have no hope or future or joyful fulfillment ahead of you are all lies. Christ promises us that He will be by our side.  I go to Hebrews 13:5 and Deuteronomy 31:6 for evidence. 

5. As Christians, we are called to suffering. Sometimes we must go through the fire, but it WILL be worth it. 1 Peter 4:12 says , "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed”. 1 Peter 1:6-7 also says, “In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” If God puts us through the fire, He will SURELY bring us out. In the book of Daniel (3), Shadrach Meshach and Abednego were all thrown into a REAL furnace for refusing to bow to an idol king Nebuchadnezzar built. However, 

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king" Daniel 3:17

6. And finally, our hope must be set on eternity.  To me it is in these moments that I find myself most longing for Heaven – A place where there are no lies and no paralyzing fear. Revelation 21:4: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

There are a ton of other truths I could go on and on, but I think that covers it for now. The fact is that once in Christ, we are at war with the enemy and the world. We have to always fight - However, never be discouraged. Once we have given our lives to Jesus, the battle is won. We can raise the white flag, and as John 19:30 says, "It is finished". 

Keep fighting the good fight!

Me, myself, and I

This week wasn’t one of my best. I’ve always considered myself someone with unshakable joy – one of those people you probably hate in the morning. This past week I didn't feel that. In fact, I felt like one big mess, completely defeated and stripped of my usual state of elation.

I was overwhelmed with knowing I had to crank out a thesis on a programming project I haven’t even begun at the lab. I was upset because I’d failed miserably on the cake I’d tried to make for my best friend’s birthday. I was frustrated because I still had knee pain, preventing me from running my usual 6-mile morning runs and stressing my OCD and plan-oriented mind out. I was even more mad that I was being so selfish and acting like things were so rough. Amidst those small issues, I was unsure of the future and the “What if’s” began to flood my mind.  

Now, there’s one thing wrong with that paragraph above, and if you re-read it again, I bet you can figure it out. It’s “I”. I AM the problem. I started out every sentence in that paragraph with “I”.  Those anxieties, those worries, all those frustrations.. My focus wasn’t on anything in those moments, but myself. How would I possibly get through it all? How would I possibly run again? How would I possibly finish my research this summer? How would I possibly get out of the funk I was in?

I was focusing on me rather than focusing on Christ in me. Think about Peter. Peter was able to walk on water by faith, UNTIL he took his eyes off Jesus. He began to sink the moment his focus shifted from Christ to the storm that raged ahead. I think so often as we go about our days, with all our responsibilities and demands, troublesome relationships, ‘unfair’ situations, rude people, etc. we also can get in the nasty habit of taking our eyes off Christ.  It is here that we begin to go under. It is here when life becomes overwhelming. It is here where I begin to become overwhelmed and my joy is stripped from me.

So what do you do from here? This part is simple, yet for some reason we (as humans) have such a hard time doing it! It is dying to myself. It is dying to my flesh, my worries, my anxieties, my doubts, my fears. It is getting out of focusing on myself, and turning my focus on Christ. It is realizing that true fulfillment, joy, and peace of mind all happen when we focus on the Cross.

I didn’t come to this revelation or realize truly how unhappy I was this past week until I was in Church this morning. It was here that I realized that I was the problem. As worship started, I was completely overwhelmed and consumed with a joy and peace and fulfillment that I hadn’t felt this past week. And why? All I was doing was singing a couple songs, right? But, NO... it was so much more than that. It was turning my focus back on Christ. It was worshipping a God who had a plan for my life. It was worshipping the Maker of the Heavens and the Earth. It was recognizing that I was just a small part in a much bigger picture. It was saying, “God I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I do know that as long as the focus is on YOU, I don’t have to be afraid.” Glorifying God gets me out of myself. When I sit back and remind myself that my sole purpose on this Earth is to glorify Christ, all my other worries seem to fade away. One of my absolute favorite promises in the Bible is this: 

I hope that you were encouraged today! Have a blessed week!